Tangled Hearts
by Kyla LockHeart
Summary: K.Serveride is ready to become a father to his and his best friends unborn child. What he isn't fully ready for is to fall in love with a victim he saves, worried that he can loose her Kelly keeps the biggest part of his life a secret. L.Shay begins to feel threatened by the woman she knows she will soon have to share her child with. MC 21
1. Hanging around

**AN: Introduction.** This story is based of events from season one of Chicago fire. All show characters are paired expect Severide who will be paired with an original Character. All reviews and Comments are appreciated. There is no Beta so all mistakes are my own and I do apologies. This first Chapter is just for everyone to get a feel for the main characters so it is a little short. The more you review the more I'll write. Thank you! Enjoy!

My eyes slowly open; the taste of blood stains my tongue. Everything seems to be broken pieces in my mind. "What Happened?" I barely hear myself say under all the noise surrounding me; Sirens? My heart starts to race as a memory flashes back to me but only for a second. I look around hearing heavy footsteps running over broken glass; my seat belt feeling like it's cutting into my neck. Looking out my window and all I see is glass shattered, red and blue flashing lights, Feet but no faces. "HELP! OH MY GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!" I scream in a panic needing to get out. When I don't hear anyone respond to me I begin to scream crying out for anyone to hear me. My hands flutter around trying to find the seat belt lock but unable to locate it through my panic.

"Hey look who is awake" I look over hearing a strange voice. A man lays down on the broken glass and smiles at me; my breathing heavy, my hands tugging and pulling on the seat belt while begging for the stranger to get me out "Hey, you're ok. We are going to get you out but you need to calm down ok sweetheart. I promise you I will get you out and back home to your family" He smiled at me with such reassuring eyes I took a deep breath and nodded; Tears making my eyes blur and sting as they pool in my eyes along with dirt running opposite of my cheeks. "W..What happened?" I sobbed hearing a loud chain saw kick start. The man seemed distracted for a moment then smiled at me again. "I am not sure but you're going to be ok. My guys out here are the best of the best just stay with me ok?" I closed my eyes feeling slightly calmer, hanging upside down was not the best feeling in the world but I guess I could be worst off.

"So you always hang around like this?" The man said in an attempt to be funny, I couldn't help but to laugh and look at him. "Yeah, when I'm bored or when I need to clear my head" He smiled at me; I closed my eyes hearing the chain saw cutting into metal. "My name is Kelly severide. Everyone calls me Severide." I could tell he was trying to keep me distracted but it wasn't working so well. "What's your name?" he asked making me think my eyes fell over to him and I shook my head. "I'm..um..My name.." Blinking unable to find the right answer Severide cleared his throat. " It's ok, from the look of it you hit your head pretty hard, once you're out and calmed down I am sure you'll remember your name."

"Kelly.." A female voice said from somewhere outside the car. He pulled back and looked up, he started to get up but I couldn't let him leave me. "Wait!" I yelled out making him look back at me. "Please don't leave." My hand reached out for him. Severide was about to lay back down when someone yelled "Pull back, it's got a leak!" Everything started to happen so fast people started to run and yell at once, that's when I looked up in the mirror and saw the back end of the car on fire, I started to scream they were going to let me die. I didn't want to die. "Severide NO!" Someone yelled before I could even try to see what was going on everything went black.

Severide POV

"You know the rule Severide. We get them to the hospital then it's out of our hands. I don't know if she made it." I listened to Shay tell me for the millionth time but I needed to know. Once I got that girl out from the car she was out cold. Blood was everywhere. I tried to find her Id once we got the explosion under control but it must have been burnt like everything else. "Shay, I know YOUR rule but I am asking you to please just find out if she is alive." I Begged running a hand through my hair she gave me an annoyed stare before throwing her hands up and walking away.

"Severide, what you did today was reckless and flat out stupid. You could have got you and your men killed." The fire chief's voice hit me only making me more frustrated with the whole situation. I turn around and nod. "Yeah I know. A second later I wouldn't be here, but either would she, Write me up do what you have to but I did my job, I saved her life. Isn't that what we are paid to do?"

"Yeah it is, but not at the expense of the lives of your men. " He crossed his arms looking me dead in the eye.

"My men were not at stake. I went back because I couldn't let that girl burn to death in front of me. It was my choice my decision." I answered honestly walking away pushing open the heavy firehouse doors. Rubbing my face trying to put together a good enough reason why I did what I did today to get everyone off my back. I know that sometimes you just can't save them all, I have seen it plenty of times. Regulations state that if a situation because a threat to your own life you pull back. That woman's car was on fire seconds from exploding and something inside me just snapped. I sighed closing my eyes seeing her face in my mind the small smile she gave me, Hell I can't explain what it did but it made risking my life worth it.

Casey was standing outside talking to his girl, They both were looking at me curiously. It was obvious they were talking about me but at this point who wasn't inside the house? I smiled fake towards Hailey, she smiled softly back kissing Casey's cheek before finally saying something I wanted to hear.

"She is ok you know. Her arm was burned and needs some work, and she is having a hard time remembering a lot. The impact cut her up pretty bad but I hear she will make a full recovery." Hailey grinned. "She keeps asking about you. That is one thing she is sure of; Severide, her hero." I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"That's great news." I said trying not to show how relieved I really was. I have been at this job for 14 years and I have had to walk away plenty of times. I have seen worst of the worst, lives destroyed but for some reason I couldn't leave her. For some reason I would have rather died with her then run away from that explosion.

"She doesn't have any family, or at least not that we have found. Maybe you can visit her. Seeing a familiar face might be good for her right now. " Hailey said with an encouraging smile. Casey looked at me as if he understood exactly how I felt but didn't say a word.

"She remembers her name?" I asked walking over to the two of them Hailey shook her head and frowned slightly. " The only name she can remember is yours. She has no idea what she is even doing in Chicago. They don't think it's permanent. Eventually she will start to remember things. " I nodded once and walked back inside after thanking her. Casey patted my shoulder still keeping his comments to himself.

It's been a hell of a long shift and I was ready to get the hell out of here. After I changed and got my stuff together I started to walk to my car where Shay was standing waiting. She took a long look at me then smiled. "So I hear she is ok." She said in a hopeful tone, her eyes followed me as I walked up to the driver side. I knew Shay better then she knew herself, she couldn't fool me.

"Come on Shay cut it and tell me what you're really thinking." I snapped opening my car door, her facial expression changed as she smacked both her hands down on the hood of the car making my brow lift and slightly chuckle. "Ok. Fine. We are about to become parents Kelly. Having a baby means being responsible. You don't go running into exploding cars!" She all about yelled at me. I was way too tired to even try to deal with this right now, rubbing my eyes I nodded agreeing with her.

"I know, I know. It was stupid I don't know what came over me. I won't do it again." I said knowing if I had to I would do it again, for her. Shay seemed to be satisfied with my answer and opened the car door getting in. "Severide I need to know you're in this 100%. I need you right now. " She tone was lowered a little distant like she was already giving up on me, I got in patting her leg and smiled. "hey, I am in this fully with you. We got the appointment tomorrow. I will be there." Shay took my hand in hers and smiled relaxing. "I know you will, you're just" She stated to laugh shaking her head. " you're just you is all. "


	2. Scared Identity

A/N: I am still trying to feel the characters out so here is another short chapter. I know exactly where this story will go and what is going to happen but It's been a LONG time since I have written a Fanfic. Thank you to those who review, it truly means a lot to me. This one is for you guys. All pointers and tips are welcomed. Again No Beta. If anyone is interested let me know. Hope you Enjoy.

Looking in the mirror I straighten my shirt thinking I look ok when I hear Shay clear her throat leaning against the door frame. I smile at her looking through the mirror. "Where are you off to looking so sharp?" She asked while sipping on her tea. I didn't want to be late and miss my chance at going in so I bought myself sometime to think of a better excuse. "Hmm?" I mumbled earning an eye roll from shay. "Hmm?" She mocked and walked in in the room setting her cup down. "You're going to go see her aren't you?" She asked while fixing my collar then looking up at me. "Yeah, Maybe. It's not a big deal" I say trying to convince myself more than anything. "Severide, what is it about her?" Shay took a step back looking at me with a hard stare. "She doesn't have anyone right now, not even herself. She is alone and has no idea what the hell happened before that crash. I'm just going to try and help her." Why I wanted to help her I don't know. I never got attached to victims. Not like I have with this one. Shay smiled at me nodding once approving of my answer before pulling something out of her pocket.

"You'll want this then." She handed it over to me. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Finally some answers. "I had the guys who towed the car take a second look. Her last name is pretty burnt but that's her ID and her name at least. Maybe it will help." I didn't know what to say or do I just pulled Shay into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you Shay. This is amazing. I know you're against me doing this, so it means a lot." I said sincerely grabbing my jacket and keys. Shay laughed and walked out calling over her shoulder. "I'm against a lot of things you do Kelly."

When I got to the hospital I almost backed out. The thought of seeing her made me feel more than one thing at a time. I was anxious because I wanted to see her smile; happy because I wanted to see her alive and well; Sad because I wanted to give her all the answers to her questions. "Severide?" I heard Hailey call my name as I stood in front of the elevators with the Id in my pocket. "Hey Hailey." I turned to her with a smile. She looked at me confused when she realized I let the elevators close and didn't get in.

"Everything ok?" I was nodding before she could even finish asking. "Yeah, yeah everything is great. I was taking your advice coming to see that one girl." I don't know why I was so nervous or why I felt like it was wrong. "Oh that's great, she has had a rough day. Seeing you might cheer her up." Hailey grinned and pushed the up button on the elevators, the doors opened and I walked in worried about what kind of a rough day she could have had.

When the doors open I pulled out the ID and took one last look at it before finding a nurse to show me to her room. She was lying on her side hugging a pillow looking out the room window while her roommate was on the phone loud as can be laughing talking to someone from her family. I didn't know what to say all I could do was stare at her. Finally the words came to me. "Hello. Alana." She slowly turned to look at me tilting her head confused. I pulled out her ID card and held it in my hand but she didn't need it. She smiled at me as If was her oldest friend in the world. "It's you. Severide. H..How did you know my name?" She asked sitting up covering her mouth in shock. "That's my name! Alana. I am Alana! People called me Lana, and some even called me Ana! How do you know my name?"

I walked over kneeling down next to her bed handing her the ID they found. "We had them keep looking for this." I watched as her eyes pooled with tears. Even I have to admit it was an emotional moment She studied it for a while before looking at me shaking her head handing it back. " I don't want it." She mumbled, her hand was trembling. " Why wouldn't you want this. It's part of who you are." I said confused taking it from her, she covered her eyes and turned her head away from me. "I don't know. I don't want to be that person. I have been here for four days and not one person has come to find me."

"Maybe not but that's most likely because they don't know you're here. We have your name now, and a picture we can put it out to the news. We can find your family." I honestly felt bad for her and In my own selfish way I wasn't sure If I wanted her to find her family. Last I heard Dawson had her brother do a missing persons check to see if anyone matched her description and not one single person came even close.

"NO! Please don't. Please just stop I can't deal with this right now. I don't want to." She cried making her monitors go off. A couple nurses ran in pushing me aside asking me what happened but I stood there frozen. For someone who had no Idea who they were she was scared of something.

One of the nurses smiled at me and nodded for me to follow her out. "Try not to push her with the memory stuff. The Drs think a lot of it is suppressed. Before the accident she could have been going through something traumatic. She has been having nightmares. I don't know what about but that girl has been through a lot more than just a bad wreck." She patted my shoulder and walked away, my eyes looked back into the room where she laid calmly asleep. I didn't care about anything except making her feel safe. So while she slept I made a few phone calls. I set it up so she had her own room so she could feel a little more secure and relaxed without more strangers coming and going. I wanted her to know she was safe so I waited in the room with her. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up the TV was on low. I rubbed my face and looked over at her and smiled.

"I am sorry about before. I don't know why it all freaked me out. Thank you for everything. You really don't have to do any of this. But thank you." I Yawned and rubbed my face again smiling at her. "I don't do anything I don't want to do. But your welcome Alana" She nodded towards my phone on the floor. "It's been ringing for the past two hours. Your wife must be worried. " I picked up my phone and laughed shaking my head. " No Wife, just an annoying overly protective friend" Then it dawned on me why Shay was calling so many times. She must have gotten the results, I jumped out of my chair. "Shit. Look I forgot I needed to be somewhere. I am sorry to run out but I will be back. You can count on that. Until then if you need anything I wrote my number down for you. Call me. Even just to talk. You're not alone." I grabbed my things and rushed out the door hardly letting Lana say goodbye speeding home.


	3. Acting like a teen

A/N Things are going to start to get messy in the next few chapters! This one is basically building up relationships between the character. Again I am so sorry for the mistakes. If anyone is willing to beta let me know.

**Thank you for those who are review I adore each one of them keep them coming. I love feedback and commentary!**

"Where the hell have you been Kelly?" Shay yelled at me the second I opened the door, I know I said I would be available to her at all time but for whatever reason anger quickly set in. "I got held up taking care of a few things…Look it doesn't matter what matters is I am here now."

She scoffed at me rolling her eyes walking away. " If you are having second thoughts Severide it's a little late." Her tone angered yet in an odd way happy. "What do you mean?" I asked like an idiot because I had a feeling saying the wrong thing will only get my ass chewed out right now. "It's happening!" She almost squealed turning around jumping on me. Excitement flood through me I grabbed her giving her a big hug, this was it I am really going to be a dad.

"Are you sure you want to be part of this. I mean I can do it alone but I would rather not." Narrowing my eyes listening to Shay I shook my head. "No. I want this Shay. We are doing this and I am happy about it."

"well it's just you been so hung up this past week on Alana I thought maybe you wanted out." I look at her like she was crazy then walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. " What does she have to do with our baby? Shay I am just giving her some…Shit I don't even know what to call it I just know if she was you and I had no idea where you were I would want someone to stick around and make sure you are ok." Shay took a deep breath and followed me into the kitchen jumping up on the counter. " I know. You have a big heart. I mean look at what you're doing for me. I just never seen you so attached to a victim before." Turning back to look at Shay taking a small sip I nod agreeing then shrug not wanting to talk more about it.

Shay went on for hours about baby names, finding a new place, going to the right Doctors she had a mental list of everything she needed and wanted done. I myself could not be happier. I have wanted to be a father for a long time now. What better way than to have a kid with your best friend. You don't have to worry about breaking up and fighting in front of the kid. Shay talked herself right to sleep I chuckled some covering her up with a blanket on the couch before getting up heading to my room when my phone rang. I didn't want shay to wake up so I quickly answered.

"Hello?" I kept a low tone until I reached my room and shut the door, when I heard her voice I smiled and laid back on my bed. " Hi Severide. I hope it's really is ok I called. It's me. Alana." I knew it was her the second she said hello but didn't say anything just went along with it.

" Alana. It's ok that you called, I wouldn't have given you my number unless I wanted you to call."

"I know. You don't do anything you don't want to" She said with a small laugh. Hearing it made me grin wide. She had a beautiful laugh. It was nice to hear considering how my visit had gone. " I just wanted to say I am sorry for my reactions today. I guess I am just trying to deal with the news still and the thought of having to tell strangers is hard to swallow."

"Tell strangers what? If you don't want to tell them yourself about your memory. I can explain it all to them for you." I say confused not really following what she is talking about.

"No. No. I am sorry I just can't. I am not ready to tell people who are supposed to be family that I lost a precious life. "

"Lana. There wasn't any other cars or bodies. I am not sure why you think there was but no one died." The line got really quiet, for a second I thought she hung up but I could hear her sniffle into the phone.

"I just wanted to say thank you for the privet room. And for staying as long as you did. I hope maybe you can come visit me again." Something about her tone broke my heart. There was something I was missing but I didn't want to force anything out of her.

"How about tomorrow? We can go for a walk or whatever you're feeling up to."

"I would love that." Her tone seemed to lift, I could tell she wasn't really ready to hang up yet and to be honest either was I.

"So, what kind of music do you think you like?" I asked grinning leaning over grabbing my I pod. Lana Giggled and returned the question. A good portion of the night ended up with me playing her most of my favorite songs and her giving me her intake on the lyrics. I don't think I have ever just lied around talking about nothing but having a whole lot to say.

Slowly I can hear her energy dropping. I think she even started to fight sleep because not everything she was saying made perfect sense. "Are you tired?" I chuckle into the phone feeling my eyes get heavy myself. "Not really but if you want to go I understand" I smile to myself and lay back on the bed getting comfortable. " I don't want to hang up but when you're ready let me know"

"MmKay." She said then we both got quiet, I could hear her lightly breathing into the phone. I told myself to hang up but all I did was shut my eyes and fall asleep listening to her for some reason knowing she was alright made me feel more relaxed.

When I woke up I still had the phone to my ear. I couldn't even remember falling asleep. I laid there for a few more minutes thinking about Alana and trying to make more sense of what she meant by her losing a precious life. I know she wouldn't be able to say more but I wondered what Hailey could tell me. "SEVERIDE GET UP WE WILL BE LATE!" Shay yelled from down stairs I looked at the clock then jumped up out of bed rushing to get ready. Shay stood by the door holding a cup of coffee for me and tea for herself rolling her eyes at me walking out. "It's rough acting like a teen on the phone all night huh?" She laughed at me as nudged her giving her a playful glare while opening the car door. "Does it really bother you so much?" I say more annoyed but trying to play it off like I am joking.

"Not really. I just don't get it. Do you like her or something? Are you trying to get laid?" I start the car not even giving her an answer. She gets in staying quiet but I swear I can hear her thoughts about me getting involved with a victim. She is only attached because of hero syndrome and the rest of the bull shit.

Once we got to the fire house we went our separate ways as we normally do. I went into the locker room putting my things away.

"Hey man." Casey walked in to change for shift, I knew better then to ask but I couldn't help myself.

"Hey." I look at him for a long moment then just ask to get it over with. "Hailey say anything about Alana and what's going on with her?" Casey looked at me four different kinds of confused and shook his head. "Who is Alana?" When he didn't even know her name I lost hope and shook my head. "Never mind. If Hailey stops by do you think I can talk to her for a second?" Matt shrugged and started to walk away not even thinking twice about it. "Yeah sure. She is coming by for lunch later I'll send her your way."


	4. Real life nightmares

A/N I know last chapter wasn't so great but things start to pick up in this one. I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to get the next one up soon. Again All mistakes are my own and I apologize for it.

"Alana." The Doctor walked into my room reading my charts he smiled when I looked over at him. "You seem to be better today than the last time we spoke. Have you been able to get up and walk around at all?" I shook my head sitting up straighter. "Well that is ok. You take all the time you need. But I do want you to at least walk around the room five minutes every hour. We want to keep your strength up." I nodded fiddling with my hands. The Dr sighed and walked over taking a seat in the chair by the bed. "Alana. I really think speaking with a therapist might help you with your memory. I know yesterday was hard to hear but unless you talk about it your only prolonging your stay here."

"Yes I understand. I will think about it. More seriously." Looking at him worried that if I ever left the hospital I would have nowhere to go. The Dr patted my leg then got up and walked out. I laid back down looking at the hospital phone wanting to call Severide but after falling asleep last night on the phone with him I am not sure how he will act. My eyes grow heavy and I begin to drift off to sleep only to be met by a whole new night mare.

~ Standing alone in a dark room I hear heavy footsteps walking dangerously slow towards me. I turn full circle trying to figure out where the steps are coming from but its pitch black. No light showing anywhere I am just lost. "Who's there?" I call out trying to sound brave only to hear a menacing laugh. I start to run not knowing how big the room is or where I am going I just run. "Go ahead run, I always find you!" The voice stated calmly as if he can see me but I can't see him. The room is suddenly filled with a small cry from a child I can't keep running away I stop trying to figure out where the cry is coming from. "See what you did Alana? You should have listened to me now shouldn't you have?" My heart breaking listening to the cry I become angry. " Show yourself! Stop being a coward" My tone shaken I wait for a reply. The room is quiet not a single sound. Just as I am about to relax two hands are around my neck squeezing the life out of me. I try to scream but only a gurgling noise is made. Telling myself to fight back not to give up I Kick whoever it is hard enough to get his hands to drop away. Stumbling back a little I again start to run this time right into a door. My hands shaken reach for the handle but it's already turning. As the door opens I am blinded by a light, My eyes adjust and he is there. Severide grabs my hand and pulls me into the light with him slamming the door behind us and bringing me to safety. ~

Awaken by the dream I gasp loudly my eyes flying open I blink a few times confused wondering if I am still dreaming because there he is, at the foot of my bed Severide stood with a look of guilt. "I didn't mean to wake you up." He said moving closer to me he frowned brushing the hair out of my face and sat at the edge of my bed. He looked at me like he knew everything I didn't . He's hand cupped my cheek looking firmly into my eyes. "You're safe. I can promise you that. Whatever you're afraid of it can't hurt you here." I couldn't help it, I started to ball tears I don't even know what I am afraid of or if there is anything to be scared of but knowing he was there just made me feel safe. My hand moved over his the second I touched his hand with mine he laced our fingers together. If my memories where as bad as my dream I didn't want them back. I didn't have any words to say to him but I wanted him there. No I needed him here so I moved back making room for two in the bed. I didn't even have to say a word he laid down moving his arm so I could lay curled into his side sniffling trying to keep myself calm. Severide brushed his fingers through my hair that was all it took for me to relax. We laid there in silence for what seemed like hours. I fought falling asleep, every time I did I would have a nightmare. Severide however at some point dozed off. I was glad he did because the longer he slept the longer he would stay.

Severide POV

Sitting at the table with the squad guys I found myself checking the time over and over. When would Hailey get here and would she even tell me what I want to know? I tried to keep myself relaxed by smoking a cigar but my mind kept returning to Alana. Grinning to myself I started to think back to last night. Alana. When we started to talk about everyday stuff she was amazing. She has a very unique take on well everything. She made me rethink the meanings behind some of my favorite songs. The way she spoke I could tell she was educated. I keep trying to find ways to help her memory but the more I do that the more I find myself drawn to her. Maybe Shay is right. I am getting too close, she could be married she has a family out there. This woman did not just appear out of thin air for me to fall for right? Wait fall for? I laugh at my thought and shake my head. I am not falling for a victim I am just trying to help her out.

"You in there Kelly?" A hand waved in front of my face, I snapped out of my daze and looked up. Casey and Hailey where looking at me laughing. I cleared my throat sitting up. "hey guys. How's it going?" I put out my cigar as they both sit down.

"Severide, Casey said you wanted to talk to me about Alana? How is she?" Hailey smiled at me I could tell she was just as curious and worried as I was. "I am not really sure actually. I mean I talked to her last night she was fine. But she did say a few things I don't really understand. I was hoping you could help me. " Casey arched his brows at me and leaned in. "Severide are you sure you want to go in deeper with this? It could mean a lot of different things." He said nodding towards Shay who was with Dawson looking over at us.

" I will handle Shay. I want to know what you meant about her having a bad day the other day. And I need to know why Alana thinks she killed someone." My tone was harsh and unsettling Hailey sat back in her seat and nodded to Casey to give us some time.

"Severide I shouldn't tell you this. I could lose my job. " She started but didn't end there. " I was with the Dr when he was overlooking x rays from her arm and leg. He found a lot, I mean a lot of untreated fractures. And even a couple bones that where broken and never treated correctly. It looks like she was abused for a long time. Maybe a boyfriend or something. We are not sure." Anger flooded inside me listening to her, how anyone could beat someone as amazing as Alana. No wonder she couldn't remember anything, maybe she didn't want to remember. My fist balled under the table Hailey looked at me concerned. " When the Dr told her she didn't take it so well. Especially because he had to tell her that time of the accident she was 8 weeks pregnant, and due to the trauma she lost the baby."

"Oh shit." I muttered feeling my heart break for Alana. She must feel completely alone right now, and I felt like the biggest asshole trying to find her so called family. What was I going to do find the asshole that beat her and hand her over. "I need to go." I said getting up quickly worried that someone might have found her out where she was. "thank you Hailey." I grabbed my shit and Left in the middle of my shift, I didn't care about anything but making sure Alana was safe.


	5. Feels right even tho it's wrong

A/N Please review once you read this chapter –Smiles sweetly- I would really appreciate more feedback and if any of you have any Ideas please let me know I love all your comments and reviews.

A/N Still not beta. Sorry

The moment I walked in Alana's room something inside me changed. The way she looked peacefully asleep I couldn't wake her up. I stood at the foot of her bed watching her. I knew nothing about this girl but I felt a need to protect her. To care for her. I couldn't even imagine walking away from her. I know Shay thinks it's a bad Idea but at this point I don't care. We agreed on the baby but, not on giving up having separate lives. I know what I want and If she allows it then I want Alana to be part of my life. Whatever that means.

Watching Alana sleep I noticed her brow started to furrow. She looked like she was in distress. A few seconds later she quietly whimpered in her sleep. My heart stopped for a moment as I watched her struggle with a bad dream I couldn't handle seeing her miserable in her sleep on top of everything else so I shook her leg making her wake with a gasp. . "I didn't mean to wake you up." I quickly lied walking over to her. She looked at me confused still with tired eyes, I could tell she was scared of whatever she was dreaming I had to comfort her. My hand without my knowledge brushed against her cheek. She seemed to relax against my touch nuzzling her cheek into my hand she didn't have to say anything, her eyes spoke for her. "You're safe. I can promise you that. Whatever you're afraid of it can't hurt you here." She broke down in tears moving her hand over mine almost like she was checking to see if I was real. Our hands laced together as we sat in silence.

Alana moved over on the bed I wasn't sure if she meant for me to lie with her but I did anyway. Gathering her in my arms nothing was said nothing needed to be said. She just needed to be held, to be made sure that she was safe. I just needed her close and to ensure she was safe. I closed my eyes once she became settled and comfortable. Millions of situations running through my mind, how would I deal with the baby and Alana? Should I tell her? Would it be insensitive if I told her considering she just lost a baby? What do I tell Shay about how I am feeling? And If I did fall for Alana or anyone for that matter would she try to take our baby from me? I guess the constant mind chatter tired me out after a while because next thing I knew I was waking up on my side with my arms wrapped around Alana. I Lifted my head to see if she was asleep but she wasn't, she was wide awake and watching TV.

"You snore." Alana Giggled looking back at me, I grinned trying to playfully glare at her. "I do not." She just laughed harder and nodded. "No really you do. You did last night and you did today." I rolled my eyes and tickled her side earning another laugh. "Maybe a little." She mocked me by making a loud snoring noise I had to laugh, Whoever thought Snoring would sound cute coming from someone.

Alana turned on her side facing me I could tell she wanted to say something so I let her take her time saying it. Her eyes searched mine for a few moments, the way she gazed into mine made me forget where I was it was a surreal feeling. Everything around her sort of melted away. All I could see was Alana. "Is it ok that we are lying down like this?" Her soft spoken words brought me back to reality. "What do you mean?" I answer with a question not really sure I myself if this is ok, not that I really cared if it wasn't because it sure as hell felt right. "I mean are you sure you want to be lying down with me like this, You don't have. I mean. You don't have to feel obligated to. I want you to I kind of like it But um I don't want to get you in trouble with anyone." She spoke over herself trying to explain. I understood what she meant but the way her cheeks turned a light crimson color I let her go on until I could see she was becoming uncomfortable with my silence. "What have I told you? I don't do anything I don't want to?" I pause looking at her remembering the baby she lost. "DO you feel like this is wrong?" She shrugged her shoulders then moved away. I watched her closely wondering if she was going to tell me about the baby now. "I don't know. I think it is but it doesn't feel wrong. I..I " Her words cracked, tears filled her eyes. " I just don't know. Maybe we should go for a walk."

We both walked quietly down the hall, My kept a step behind her only because she looked slightly unstable. All I could really think about Is what if she is married or has a boyfriend. What if her memory comes back and she is deeply in love. Would she just walk out of my life? Then I started to wonder why that pissed me off so much. I should be more focused on Shay right now anyway. Right?

"Do you think we can go outside?" My eyes cut to Alana as she finally spoke. She smiled sweetly at me using my arm to keep herself steady. I made a decision right then and there. I don't care how I feel or what I will afterwards but I was going to be what she needed until she told me otherwise. "Sure we can. You should get some fresh air." She nodded her head agreeing with me as we walked out towards the lobby doors. I helped her walk over towards a bench area making sure her gown was fully covered.

"Severide?" I had to chuckle when I heard it. "What are you doing here? The chief is asking where the hell you are and Casey keeps making excuses." She all about growled at me, I turned to face her and grinned. "Shay." Noticing Dawson standing next to her I smiled even though she was giving me the you're fucked kind of look. "Dawson. This is Alana." Shay looked over at her and gave her a quick smile then looked back at me shook her head then walked away back to their ambulance.

"They seemed nice." Alana said in a truly sincere tone. "Are you supposed to be working? You can go and I'll get back to my room. I'm getting tired anyway. " Helping her back up I sighed and nodded helping her back inside. " I was only going to stop by for a few minutes but I guess I lost track of time. I'm off tomorrow morning. How about I stop by for breakfast?" Alana leaned into my side I could tell she was losing her strength so I grabbed a wheel chair and started back to her room. "Okay"

I got Alana back in bed and helped her adjust to get comfortable. It was starting to get harder to walk away from her but I did. I went back to the station had a talk with the chief about why I took off. I didn't tell him the exact truth about it but to be fair I don't even think I am telling myself the truth about Alana and what's going on between us.

"Severide!" Shay Hissed pulling my arm so we were alone. " What the hell are you doing? We have a deal no personal relationships until AFTER the baby is born. God. This is so like you, I give you the benefit of the doubt and you let me down."

"Shay knock it off. I don't have a personal relationship with her, how many times do I have to tell you it's just until her family shows up. You're stressing over nothing and that's not good for you or the baby." I put both my hands on her shoulders and bent down so I was eye level with her giving her my best charming grin. "You have nothing to worry about." Scoffing a laugh shaking my head " Come on shay you know me. I wouldn't let you or our baby down. I'm just helping the needy. In a way I am only doing my job." She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. " Okay. Fine." With that she walked away leaving me with a headache. I was going to go lay down but of course there was a call and I was running out the door to save more lives.


End file.
